March 2012
66 posts
Misusing the English Language For Points
Seeing as people have made it abundantly clear that they’re going to abuse and overuse elements of the language, I thought I might as well make a game of it. Who knows, by being so dramatically stupid, maybe they’ll pick up on it and alter their horrid ways.
Here’s the rules, you get points (listed below) for including the following phrases as often as possible in EVERY conversation you have. It doesn’t even have to make sense. This will accurately reflect on the words’/phrases’ current usage. (I’ll add more options as/when I feel like it)
Basically - 5pts
Obviously - 5pts
Actually - 5pts
When you think about it - 5pts
Do you know what I mean - 5pts
To be fair - 5pts
Literally - 10pts
I’m not being funny - 10pts
Do you know what, though - 10pts
At the end of the day - 20pts
What it boils down to - 20pts
Example:
“Excuse me, could you tell me where the post office is?”
“I’m not being funny, but it’s basically down the road; just obviously turn left and at the end of the day you’re there, to be fair”
“I’ve done almost no research on the subject, so I’m pretty confident when I say: water, when in the form of steam after a shower, leaves our dimension on the back of a giant spectral capuchin monkey that can drift through walls. Some may have you believe that it forms condensation that can rot wood and lead to dampness in the walls, but this is completely unproven. It is for THIS reason that I choose to leave the bathroom window closed while/after showering.”
—James McAteer
