July 2010
90 posts
Spotting the Signs...
As a psychologist, it’s very easy to spot the signs when someone isn’t entirely stable.
Generally speaking, if a person glares at their mug, swears at it for looking at them funnily, and does a shifty-eyed doubletake before finally taking a drink; chances are this person isn’t all there.
The automatic assumption is that the person is lost in their own little world,...
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“AAAAAAARGHHHH, I need some ammo…………… and a hug.”
– James McAteer, playing Battlefield: Bad Company 2
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You're accidentally locked in Staples and all the...
Answer here
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How do you eat corn on the cob? Across in rows or...
I’m secretly really glad you asked this because I’ve been dying to tell someone! I eat contiguous stripes of corn around the circumference, I just feel it gives you a better angle from which to eat; leaving you with less mess, optimum corn acquisition and a clear angle of entry meaning that any squirting is going to be going AWAY from you.
Wow… i feel like i’ve just...
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Why do old movies have the cheesiest music ever?...
I think it’s because in the 80s everyone was so astounded that you can make instrument noises electronically that they completely abondoned regular instruments; that’s why every dramatic scene sounds like one of the scary bits in Mario.
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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Fill in the blank:"When life gives you lemons,...
Answer here
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If you were falling from a plane with no chance of...
Answer here
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Excuse me, Coldplay...
Everyone gets songs stuck in their head, but when they get stuck in mine I tend to sit and think about what they’re saying.
I take issue with the following:
birds go flying at the speed of sound to show you how it all began
What part of this makes ANY sense!? If a bird is flying at the speed of sound, how can it POSSIBLY ‘show’ you the past, let alone experience it!?
If the...
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Y'know the TV show Deadliest Warrior where they...
I’d like to see one of the elder superpowers take on one of the modern-day superpowers to see how that’d pan out.
It is for this reason that I’d pit Genghis Khan against Bill Gates
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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Why are all of the Harry Potter spells in Latin if...
Well if you think about what the Latin spells are actually saying you can begin to understand why she didn’t write it in the native language of the wizards. They might end up yelling things like “make it so the other bloke’s wand flies out of his hand!!!” or instead of just “accio <something>!” it’d be like directing someone who’s moving your...
10 tags
Idiots: Part 1 of no-doubt many « Mr Llamatastic's... →
I’ll be posting a sequel to this post on my Wordpress blog later on today; I just wanted people to be able to read the original first in order to better understand what I’m talking about.
In this post I draw out my own clear definition of what constitutes an idiot and why intelligence is in no way a factor of someone’s status as one.
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What is your morning ritual?
Wake up, shake fist angrily at world for causing me to wake up, shake fist angrily at girlfriend for not being attractive, stumble into kitchen, shake fist angrily at coffee machine for not coming on with automatic timer, spill coffee beans, shake fist at spillage, shower, get dressed, shake fist at fellow motorists, get to work, spend rest of day telling people what I shook my fist at.
...
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What is a super cool talent of yours that most...
I can take in a room Jason Bourne-styley, observing every single detail and person without even having to think about it. Unfortunately, unless something is interesting, I tend to forget absolutely everything in the next couple of minutes. (entirely true)
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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If a baby's leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head...
Consult the Good Book! *flicks through Bible for answers to any of life’s problems because I’m too frightened and ignorant to think for myself* Aha! Now I know this whole book is supposed to require interpretation, no-doubt due to the fact that not a shred of it makes a lick of sense and it wants to avoid any pointed questions at all costs; but from what I just skim-read and wildy...
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Just how fast do hotcakes sell?
It really depends on whether it’s the temperature or the taste that makes them sell, and whether the vendor had set up in a prime location with sufficient foot traffic to warrant the purchase. Also, whether the price reflected the current going rate for cakes of any description, plus or minus the novelty cost. Taking all variables into account, multiplying by the square of the average number...
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Can cannibals be arrested for being under the...
It depends if the person that’d been eaten had more alcohol than blood in them. i.e. were they French?
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and...
Because the hill was made of custard and they were fighting for dominion of the Sprinkle Republic.
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane...
Weight is only relative to the gravitational pull of the Earth vs an object’s mass, density and distance from it, so depending on how high up the plane was flying would dictate how much heavier its ground-weight would be. Also, those seagulls are lazy bastards!
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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What's the most dangerous thing you could think to...
Throw the first 11 at the White House, then hand the last one to the first Russian tourist I see and run.
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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What would happen if NASA discovered oil on...
Answer here
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If you and David Dickinson were the only two...
I’ve thought this over many times. As you do. I may be a terrible person for saying this, but i would just unremorsefully kill David Dickinson.
1) No more talking
2) No need to share peanuts
3) I could eat his corpse and gain the knowledge of him and every other immortal he’s ever killed.
Make no mistake, I would do this even if I could see the shoreline.
Brain-bust my...
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What's the best fancy-dress costume you can think...
I would LOVE to turn up to a funeral dressed as Boba Fett and with a hover-cart. I’d turn to the smallest person there, nod to the deceased and say, “put him/her in the cargohold”
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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In order to deactivate the bomb, you have to press...
Ok, now granted there isn’t a very high projected success rate for this plan, but if I were in the situation it’s probably what I’d try:
I’d understand that it’d take more than 10sec to navigate through all the pandas, so I’d try and get the pandas to do the work for me. Attach my chewing gum to the end of the piece of fresh bamboo I always carry with me, yell...
Biggest star ever found may be ticking antimatter... →
Just in case you were having a nice day.
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Describe a fight between Harry Potter and Darth...
Vader raised his hand and concentrated all his malice on the helpless frame of the young wizard; Harry Potter’s body lifted upwards from where it had lain bloodied and beaten on the cold steel walkway of the third Death Star.
With unmistakable hatred, the dark lord of the Sith pulled the boy’s body through the air towards him, malign aggression coursing through his veins. As the...
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What habit really annoys you about others?
Asking me what habits annoy me… no, seriously; the only habit people have that makes me want to smash their face into a bloody pulp, then carry on doing it just to make sure, is when they come out with things to try and make themselves seem clever when they have NO idea what a conversation is about. They pick up on one word that they understand and just run with it, even if that word...
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What movie has made you laugh the hardest?
Never fails to this day: Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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Which sesame street character do you most identify...
At the risk of sound a little into myself, I’d have to say I felt a great deal of empathy for Super Grover.
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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What is the best way to deal with an infestation...
I WOULD say some sort of handheld explosive if I hadn’t already had a great deal of success with challenging them to a game of Boggle OUTSIDE
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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If you could have a super power, what would it be?
“How ‘bout the power of FLIGHT!? That do anything for you….?” No, but seriously, I reckon I’d go for something useful yet completely unexpected; like maybe the power to diagnose ANY problem mechanical, medical, political or other just by casually glancing at it and scratching myself. Only trouble is, people do it so often it’d be hard for me to prove I was the...
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What's the worst show on TV?
Thankfully it’s nearly over, but it has to be Big Brother. When it first came out and was labelled as a social experiment it wasn’t SO bad because at least they had an objective. But now……now……. I don’t wish to speak of it any further.
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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What's the best fancy-dress costume you can think...
Answer here
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What is the speed of blue?
Good question. Assuming there is no resistance (i.e. in a vacuum) the speed of blue as ‘optical light’ is 300,000kmp/s with a wavelength of about 450 nanometers.
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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Given that God is infinite, and the universe is...
I actually laughed crazily when I read this. Awesome question! I would genuinely like a toasted tea-cake. Thank you.
Brain-bust my squishy, thinky thing
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Do you believe that people are inherently good or...
I believe that the concept of good or bad is entirely religious, and as people aren’t inherently religious can be neither. Because every legal system in the modern world is, in one way or another, based on the morals of a religion, even atheists have to conform to them. The only reason non-religious people haven’t kicked up a fuss is because we’d look silly saying “I...
