Lack of denial strikes again!
I've told you guys before about my mate James and his amazing talent for not denying things immediately. Example, "hey James you Swedish donkey-rapist!" "I'm not Swedish...." Well he's gone and done it again!
Me: Euuuurggghh no..... it's YOU!
James: Or is it?
Me: Oh, sorry Frank. Is James there or have you two not quite finished having passionate arse-sex?
James: That the only Frank I know is a 60 year old Sri Lankan man makes that all the more horrifying.
Me: And it can't be all that passionate if he's IMing on skype at the same time; or even that active as he's not even making any spelling mistakes! You're just rubbish, James.
As I gazed relaxedly over the early-morning Roman skyline, the last streetlights casting an aura of warmth over the pleasantly juxtaposed structures, taking in the lovingly sculpted facias, quirkily pointed rooftops; the peaceful tranquility of it all was only punctuated by one sound: the hoarse shrieking of an elderly woman yelling “Maria!!! Aprire la porta!!!!” (Maria!!! Open the...
So I’m sitting people-watching at an airport coffee shop, imagining what everyone’s up to. I’m sitting next to an asian guy typing something on his phone. An asian girl walks into the place and I automatically assume they know one another. I then spend the next few moments having a go at myself for being so stupid and ignorant as to assume that because two people are asian they...
I imagine it’d be very difficult to gloat to a blind person. Seeeeeeee!?– Luke Nyland
I’m in a hotel. I just spilt some of my coke. I went into the bathroom to get some tissue to mop up the coke. It just dawned on me how suspicious it would look if someone walked into the room and saw me hunched over my laptop in the dark holding a wad of damp tissue…
I had the misfortune of watching some of the MTV awards whilst in Germany. I really feel the need to share with the world that “yo yo yo, whattup everybody!?” was translated as “herzlich glueckwunsch”
I’d just like to share with the world that I just yawned like Ray Charles.
I’m trying to get it up, but I can’t even load YouTube!– Mark Walker on the subject of slow internet
Cyanide and Happiness FTW